Of Lemons and Lemonade

l e m o n

THE SONG WITHIN

ADVENTURE: NEEDED

Sunday, May 30, 2010 ( 3:29 AM )

Esther! Life in Perth is no fun without you :(

I Miss You!

The Last Adventure...

COME BACK TO PERTH ALREADY

Realization

( 2:49 AM )

Why do I even bother?

You can have it all. You can take it all.

I'm Done.

Done.

Done.

It's Time to Go Back.

Saturday, May 29, 2010 ( 3:36 AM )

Why do I do it to myself?

As soon as I talk about everything going smoothly, something happens to disrupt that.

I should have learnt that by now.

This time is different from the last 1yr++, I think.

The after effects are different.

I think the conversation with Suds a couple nights ago really made a difference.

That conversation really made me think.

And, I suppose, view things differently.

To be honest, I cannot recall the majority of the exact words said but something in that conversation changed my way of thinking and feeling.

It's not that the things that happen - the things that I see, the things that I hear - hurt or feel any different or less painful, but rather that I can see beyond that moment.

One of the things that I do remember from that conversation is that;

When did I start to settle for less than I wanted?
Oh, not wanted in a superficial sense - rather valued in a person in general.

In a relationship in general.

What happened to the old me?

I don't know when I stopped being that person and became someone else.

It used to be a whirlwind, when did it become a storm?

It's not habit, it's something more than that.

But I can't keep convincing myself that the its absence doesn't matter.

The cracks are starting to show.

You give me your excuses, but that's all they are - excuses.

Excuses don't make up for what has happened and what will happen.

When did I become so easy to buy off?

Semester End.

Friday, May 21, 2010 ( 2:59 AM )

It's the end of the semester!

Officially, the last day is today and there are celebrations with potluck and mudrock (so I hear).

After I hand in my last assignment, I'll be done for the whole semester tomorrow although exam study is around the corner =/

I still haven't started studying for exams and they are in 10 days.

Why is my exam timetable so shite.

Stats and R&W on the first day.

AusLegalSyst a week later.

Accounting on the last day of exams.

Why can't I be like everyone else and finish halfway through the exams =/|
My exams have to spand the entire examination period.

Although I suppose I should be thankful that this semester I only have 4 exams for 4 units.

Unlike the last 2 semesters where I had 7 exams fr 4 units.

And it is unbelieveable that I cannot enrol for my units next semester and I am forced to go and see the academic chair so that he can sign me into those units.

Murdoch is so aalwejf hlajgn.saglkj.

Tomorrow we're making meatballs and pasta! >.^

Something new everyday...apart from those days we cannot be bothered cooking and just go out to eat.

But we just did a whole load of food shopping today so I'd say we're set for meat for the next, oh, month.

Wakakaka.

I'm not sure how it happened, but I ended up doing the accounts for S2M2.

And the lists.

I think I'm way over my head on this one. I shall just have to muddle my way through it.

2 months exactly until I leave for Singapore.

Everyone else is leaving in a month.

So sad.

I'll be stuck here for an extra month with (almost) no one.

What am I going to do?

Answer: Work

From which I will have saved up (hopefully) a lot of money to spend when I go back.

On the bright side, it's multiply by 3 when I'm in Malaysia >.^

2 Weeks Till Exams.

Thursday, May 13, 2010 ( 2:43 AM )

Just when I though I had got everything all done, I remember my stupid statistics assignment.

Due in 8 days.

Did I ever mention I hate maths? 

As well as my oral presentation.

die.

I just finished writing up the points on my powerpoint to talk about on my presentation, so hopefully when it actually comes to the day to present it, I will be able to bs my way through it.

And still score.

big hopes.

Still need to study for exams in 2 weeks.

It's coming up to the stressing time because I still haven't finished my assignments OR started studying.

And to top it off, my cousin is coming to visit DURING MY EXAM TIME.

How bad can it get =(

I want to go out with her but I'll be stuck doing exams!

Why do they have to be so spread out!

Stupid person who did the timetabling.

I'm really not looking forward to after the exams too though, although it will be a lot less stressful.

But my baby is leaving =(

How can I relax and have fun?

I have to wait a whole 5 WEEKS before I see him again.

At least after that time we can go on holiday together!

Just us, visiting around.

I'm looking forward to that part.

In a year and a half (by the time next semester starts), this will be the about the 5th time we've been parted from each other for holidays.

1st - William in Malaysia, Sarah in Singapore

2nd - William in Australia, Sarah in Europe

3rd - William in Australia, Sarah in Singapore/Hong Kong

4th - William in Malaysia, Sarah in Australia

William and Sarah in Malaysia/Singapore together >.^

5th - William in Australia, Sarah in Singapore

Why oh why.

So many times =(

We still need to work out the itinerary for what we're doing in Malaysia and Singapore in July though.

Plans - Visit all Sarah's family in Singapore, Go visit William's parents, Go Visit William's Grandparents....

...play around in Singapore/Malaysia for the rest of the time?

At least Clarisse is coming back in August like me! Everyone is leaving end of July =(

We can go have fun while everyone is stuck in Murdoch Uni.

>.^

 Tomorrow is going to be an impromptu laksa cooking day =)

I need to go to Murdoch, run out and buy ingredients and then head back to 63 to start cooking with my baby.

I like cooking.

I want to learn to knit.

Someone teach me?

Busy Busy Time.

Sunday, May 9, 2010 ( 11:42 PM )

It's been a busy weekend.

Well, at least, Friday was a busy night and Saturday was a busy day recovering from Friday night - which didn't exactly go to plan.

For some reason I was in no mood to club.

And events that happened when we got there didn't exactly help either.

Suppose it was alright though, but definitely could have been better~!

Exams start in 3 weeks >.<

I haven't even started studying.

I really need to get down to it, but I need to get all these assignments out of the way first!

Far out.

I wish I could go on holidays already.

And yes, I'm writing in this green because lime green would have been way too hard to see.

(Just thought I'd throw that one in there) 

Holidays come quickly.

Before I explode. 

Once In A Blue Moon.

Thursday, May 6, 2010 ( 8:41 PM )

I am online before midnight!
Truly and accomplishment worthy of the record books.

Well my record books, at least.

I need a new job.

Actually, to be correct, I need another job.

This current one definitely is not cutting it for me.

It's more like a supplementary job i suppose.

Exams are in three weeks and the last minute rush of trying to finish off assignments is coming.

2 "group meetings" tomorrow. Hopefully we'll actually get started on one of the assignments.

Everyone in that group had better finally show up or something is going to die.

Tomorrow will be crazy - group meeting at 12pm and one at 3pm.

Then going out tomorrow night, i think.

And I still need to do my assignments!

So many things happening at once.

So much information to download.

So much information to sift through.

I'm not sure who's lying to me now.

It's all very confusing.

Someone is lying, definitely.

The stories conflict too much to both be true.

The question is who to believe, and how much of it I should believe.

Why can't it be simple?

Stop lying to me someone.

Identity: unknown.

Amazing.

Monday, May 3, 2010 ( 2:27 AM )

It has been an amazingly uneventful day.

A surprise. A sucess.

How wonderful.

I finally booked my flight tickets today~!

So I'll be in Singapore from the 21st to the 9th, officially.

Probably with a week long trip to Malaysia squeezed into the 2 and a half weeks.

Flying by myself :'(

But still, very exciting because I can't wait to go on holiday.

I just need to survive the 5 weeks preceeding my leaving.

Maybe I'll fly to Melbourne.

Speaking of Melbourne, I'm thinking about going over there to study.

University of Melbourne.

Maybe just for a semester or two?

Just to see how it is, because they don't offer undergraduate law there.

Thanks to somebody *cough* for putting that idea in my head.

It has firmly taken hold, thank you very much Keith.

Went out for a whole hour at 2am >.^

Hm, why did I even bother?

Slightly crazy and should be sleeping now.

So, sleepy time =)

This Is The Time..

Saturday, May 1, 2010 ( 9:23 PM )

It's been an eventful three days.

Full of ups and downs.

You're so set on your ways.

You're so set on your thinking.

When something comes along, you won't listen to anything else.

This is the time for my explanation.

For tonight at least.

1. The reason I ask you for where you are is because I know you don't know where I will be if I say where I am. Simply because, you don't really know your way (specifically) around the city malls.

I do.

And I know where you'll be exiting because there are only two exits for you.

I already know where I want to go, you do not know where we are going.

Did you notice us go in one big circle when we could have met up and gone from there?

2. I know that it's stupid to go without you, and so I won't. That is not the issue, I already know and understand that point, which you can't seem to move past because that's all you can see.

The issue is that it is unfair for you to limit me to not going and you can still go and do as you please.

I know circumstances are such, that it is naturally going to be like that. We cannot help some things.

BUT there are things that you can do so it isn't as unfair.

You yourself know that it is unfair, and yet you do nothing to make it even.

Why? Because it just suits you that way. Because you are assured of what you want, it doesn't matter that the other person is not as assured as you are.

Limitng me to being not allowed to go just because YOU do not feel like it seems okay on its own.

But when you go out with other people for whatever reason, even when you don't feel like it, means that you should be going out with me too, even when you don't feel like it.

You need to take care of them, yes, but don't you need to take care of me too?

You seem to apparently "force" yourself to go out with them for this reason, so why can you not "force" yourself to go out with me too for the same reason?

Just because you have power, doesn't mean you can disregard the opinions of others.

3. Asking me to walk behind you is like talking to a dog.

You do not tell ANYONE to walk behind you simply because you are upset and feeling irritated.

You know why? Because that is telling that person that they are of a lower rank than you and are not as important as you.

You ask me to walk beside you, which is fine.

But I ask you to keep up with me.

No, it's not because you're chasing me but because I need to walk fast because I'm freezing and I don't want to leave you behind.

And yet, you walk even slower the whole way there.

Is it just to spite me? Are you really so hurtful?

And we went over this again, just a few nights ago.

And this time you said you really understood.

You said you understood that things are different from you back-home-small-town thinking.

You said you understood that you needed to change.

Then countless times tonight, you came up with the fact that "that is how you are."

Did we not just go over that?

Did we not spend one sleepless night going over that point itself?

And then you walked away, like you did absolutely nothing and that it was all my fault.

Because I wanted to walk a bit in front of you and tell you to hurry up.

I don't know what is going through your mind.

I don't know how you're feeling now.

But I can guess that you've either:

a) gone out to drink with your friends

b) stayed at home and sulked or slept

c) just gone to some other girl.

Where are the hopes and dreams when you've got reality.