Of Lemons and Lemonade

l e m o n

THE SONG WITHIN

Continuing With Tradition

Thursday, April 15, 2010 ( 1:52 AM )

On at 1 something am again.

I am very consistent, I must say.

Accoutning mid-semester exams were released today! I stressed for nothing, got 90%.

Yay, such a relief >.^

Now, just have to finish that assignment for accouting up, then I'll be done until the final exam.

I think the last few months have been the most emotionally stressful in my life.

Well, after a few other incidences, that is.

Nevertheless, they have been really tiring. I feel like I need a long holiday, but I have no idea how to go about doing that. It doesn't ever seem like something you can just get up and walk away from.

I can't run away from everything forever, it's always going to catch up with me.
And, who know's how it's going to be when I return? That is what worries me the most.

Will it all just stop becuase I'm not there? Will you forget if you don't see?

Worried about the winter holidays.

Trust is the only thing that will stop the worries, I know that.

But how do you go about fixing something that was broken? Especially something as important as this.

You once said to me, that it is a process of watching and waiting to see if something has changed.

And that statement was made about me.

But, does it not also apply in this case? If I am supposed to be watched and looked at to see if there is a change, should I also be watching and looking to see if there is a change?

I want to have the assurance that it's not how it appears when you first see the situation, but it's getting harder and harder to do that as time goes on and the same things keep happening.

Someone once said, your partner should be everything you're not and you should be everything they're not.

I think that applies very well in this case.

But that shouldn't mean that you accept it as that and never work to try and bridge some differences between your thinking. Otherwise no-one would every have any peace.

Just because some things are already in that situation doesn't mean that it has to lie there forever.

Everyday comes the struggle whether this is the right thing, whether all the emotional stress is worth it. And so many times I feel like just giving up, putting up the white flag.

But at the end of the day, we'll always come back to the same place.
Not meeting at the halfway point, but meeting outside the situation.
Restart. Renew. Refresh. Revive.

Not that everything is always emo and gloomy, I really cannot stand people who are emo all the time.

Everday you amaze me.

Sometimes in a good way, and sometimes in a bad >.^

I don't think I will ever know what you're thinking. In those rare moments I actually get a glimpse into that side of you, it confuses me so much. So often your thoughts conflict with your words and actions.

You like to run circles around me, sometimes just for fun and sometimes because you really have no idea either. The only person who can make me laugh, cry, get angry and laugh again in the space of 5 minutes.

The only one who is stubborn enough to fight against me and act dumber than I.

You call me silly, I call you crazy.

I still love you.

1 Day Until The One-Eight